Namaste

I met a French woman named Elisa short for Elisabeth, she was travelling solo as well and had the most amazing life in order to do so. She volunteered in a meditation centre in Paris for 3 months of the year, worked n a hospital for 3 months of the year and travelled for 3 months of the year before starting the cycle over again. What a life!! Elisa has been studying meditation and Buddhism for 30 years of her life and she has a beautiful insight into so many different things. I had dabbled in meditation though not very successfully I thought however she gave me some tips.

1. When a thought comes, you acknowledge the thought and send it away or say that you will think about this after meditation.

2. Your knees when sitting should always touch the corners of your mat just like Buddha giving you a connection to the earth and during your meditation you should not move though this comes with time and practice.

We decided to visit Wat Langka in PP just a short walk from the guest house for the 8:30am session on Sunday morning. This session is open to all locals, foreigners and expats, it went for an hour and as we got there early we had the opportunity to explore before meditation began. It is a beautiful place and as we went upstairs the monks had laid out all the cushions and mats for the session. 

As we went in as is the custom we remove shoes at the entrance and silently take or place on a mat and begin. For the first 30 minutes I managed very well, I was acknowledging and sending thoughts away and concentrating solely on the awareness of breath ie. when a thought comes I send it away and focus back on my breathing....in........and out. 

I was honestly amazed with how well I managed to keep my concentration and allow my mind to be still. The second half hour was more difficult, I was becoming aware that I was concentrating on being still, so my thoughts continued and I often wasn't quick enough to catch them and stop them before they went onto the next...very silly things like what I'm doing tomorrow and what Free the Bears will be like, a couple of occasions required me to open my eyes and switch legs because my foot had gone dead or I had pins and needles. Though in that time it was nice to admire the intricate details of this temple and its ancient paintings of Buddhas history and life. 

I found my self smiling at Buddha because Buddha was always smiling back.

When we finished we bowed and gave thanks as is the custom and left feeling calm and quiet. I certainly feel like I have more of a connection or understanding of the temples and what they represent having been there and experienced it for myself. 

As a tourist in South East Asia it's very easy to walk into yet another temple and go 'snap' 'snap' 'snap' with your camera and walk out saying "well that was nice". 

We continued to walk to the very first Wat in PP Wat Phnom on a small hill at the top of the city, this is said to be the place where a woman named Penh went to the Mekong and pulled four statues of Buddha out of the water she took them to this hill and built a little bamboo house for them to keep them safe and allow her to give offerings and becoming the reason behind the name of the city Phnom Penh. This now being a place for locals to come and bring offerings and being a Sunday the place was filled with local families, we took the time to sit inside and watch families bringing lotus flowers and incense, fake money and fruit plates to offer. We sat and admired the glistening gold throughout the temple, the ornate statues throughout and the stories that unfolded the deeper you focused on the paintings and their intricacies. A very young boy in blue denim overalls and his older sister were ushered in by their grandmother to say blessings to us which was very sweet. 

I'm very grateful to Elisa for the insight she shared with me and I can only hope to carry these thoughts forward in my journey and in life.

As we were leaving we passed a monk with a lotus flower, we stopped to ask if we could take a photo of him and he smiled, as we thanked him he stopped me and looked at my GoPro ...."memory?" he asked......it certainly was.

Namaste.

The Killing Fields and S21 Prison

'It's really difficult to picture what actually went on here not that long ago, you wouldn't imagine that behind the smiling faces of the Cambodian people there is such deep sadness and loss. When I left PP this morning everything was as it was the day before but as soon as I started to head outside of the city the reality of what happened to this country starts to reveal itself. People started to look poorer, there were no more children in school uniforms like in the city, the smell changed, the overal feeling changed. 

The Killing Fields are 30 minutes outside the city which doesn't seem like much but they are worlds apart. Once I reached it there was an incredibly somber and sad feeling washing over me, as soon as I was inside I started to imagine what it must have felt like to be herded into those big military trucks one by one and in the pitch black be driven to this place, moved into a shed and then one by one being taken out and slaughtered as silently as possible. That sad and somber feeling changed to a heavy feeling, everything I saw just weighed on my thoughts more and more. 

I can't really explain how I felt when I started to see bone and cloth protruding from the earth beneath my feet, they had already exhumed as much as they could years earlier but as the yearly rains erode more soil more remains appear. 

A child's skull

This is a memorium with 9000 skulls inside, 17 level of them on four sides up the very highest possible points, all with descriptions from age to cause of death.

These poor souls suffered immensely even in death..bullets were too expensive so the people were left to suffer the most horrific deaths which included being clubbed with an ox cart axle, axed in the head with a garden hoe and having their throats slit with the serrated edge of a palm frond. Mothers were stripped naked and killed but not before watching their children swung by their feet into a tree known as 'the killing tree'.

The Killing Tree

In memory of over approximately 100 infants and children killed on this very spot.

You can never prepare yourself for the way you will feel in a place like this, it saddens the soul to know 9000 or more people were senselessly murdered and for what reasons? Things like wearing glasses, being educated, having a trade and believing in pretty much anything other than Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. But why did the infant children have to die? Pol Pot said "to be rid of the grass you must pull it up from the roots..." otherwise it would simply grow back or in his case, there may have been an uprising or rebellion from the next generation.

They had a little museum there with some information and some original weapons used...the dents all of the axle was more than a little unnerving, it just left me with a very sick feeling however there was more to come.

I must say the now Genocide Museum looks very out of place where it is currently though it wouldn't it if had remained a simple high school, now it's a memorium to cruel torture and suffering. 

One prisoner to a room shackled to their bed attached to a pivoting steel rod to secure them with a rice bowl for when they were actually fed. I cannot put myself in their shoes...I have nothing to compare it to, just reading about their torture methods is harrowing. One in particular was stringing a prisoner up with their arms behind their backs on a rope, the guards pulled the rope hoisting the person into the air by their arms and then when they passed out from the pain their head was dunked into a vat of sewage water to wake them up again to continue the torture. This I imagine wasn't the worst they did, things like pulling out fingernails one by one, whipping till the skin was opened and pouring salt water on the wounds or simply beating someone until they either told you the information or died from the torture. 

The hardest thing for me to comprehend was the faces in the photographs of the people. Some even smirking or smiling in their portrait taken by the guards on entry, no doubt having no clue what they would soon be put through...some were so very young, the thought that they would have most likely died of starvation before anything else is just heartbreaking. There was not a trace of mercy, none.

There were photos of people who had died from torture, foaming at the mouth, eyes wide open and incredibly haunting..I won't soon be forgetting those images, though they are nothing compared to the reality. One of the 7 surviving prisoners of S21 was there signing his book about his experiences, he is 74 years old and such a small smiling man you would never even think he had suffered these atrocities. Bou Meng's wife was slain at the killing fields while he was at S21 and while he was tortured for information he also offered a valuable skill of painting which may well have saved his life! He was asked to paint Pol Pot realistically and if he didn't like it Bou would be killed. His paintings meant he would recieve food regularly unlike many other prisoners and this kept him gong him while his skills were required.

Such an honour to meet this man, so smiley and pleased with his life now, I'm glad he has found a means to profit in some way from his previous life and that which was stolen from him. He can now live freely and comfortably. 

Up early

I'm up early this morning but it appears that everyone else is as well. I woke up at 4am and forced myself to go back to sleep for another couple of hours, I suppose that's the norm for me I did it in Kazakhstan during the first week I just woke up crazy early every day. 

I have seen some HUGE backpacks being carted around those big 70-90L packs....so happy with  myself that I serverly limited what I bought with me, it's so cheap to buy clothes here now that I found the 'Central Market' yesterday, it took me a while to get my bearings when my driver said "clothes here everywhere!" and I'm thinking I see maybe two little shops .... It took me about 20 minutes of perilous walking up and down trying not to get run over to realise that the markets were behind the front stores, very well hidden and inside was this assault of colours and fabrics and.......tourists. Yep I found where they were all hiding

And when I say trying not to get run over I really mean it...it's quite literally a life or death decision because noone is stopping for you at all, I had stop and say, it's actually not even worth attempting to cross here.

I wish I could allow you to smell this coffee...i don't even have words to describe it except that it smells nothing like what I'm used to, almost sweeter.

Arrival in a Phnom Penh

,,I arrived this morning and the taxi ride to my guesthouse was the definition of culture shock...I've been to Thailand but I never remember it being like that. It is absolutely CRAZY! and this is the city that tourists are actually aloud to hire scooters, the thought made my stomach turn (dad you will be happy to hear that). It's kind of like you give way to the people in front of you not the people behind you so the people in front just change sides and you just have to fit yourself in or be squashed and people ride their scooters backwards through the traffic on the 'wrong' side..I did see a girl on a scooter getting booked by the police, for what I have no clue because it all seems legal here..

On another note...I am the epitome of shy right now, you all know what I'm like for those that have met me but you wouldn't even recognise me right now. I am as timid as a mouse and it has me shocked haha! Terrified of talking to people and whispering so quietly people actually have to say "huh?". I'm hoping it will wear off in the next couple of days and to put this into perspective I had a conversation with the guesthouse stray cat before I could say a word to anyone in human form...but we all know animals are my people ;) it makes me feel worse because everyone is so NICE! 

Here's a common phrase "hey lady, wanna ride on my bike?!" ....I know it's a tourist thing but it's so unappealing and "tuk tuk?!" , things I'll have to adjust to :)  

Foooooood! Aka cheese omelette? And ohhhhh sooooooo goooooooooooood!

PS it took me only a few hours to realise I needed one of these...it will come in handy at the sanctuary as well and it only cost me 20,000KHR for my 'North Face' fanny pack haha 

Kuala Lumpur

Just sitting outside the security gate on the floor because I bought the most magnificent coffee from McCafe of all places and I can't go through until it's done...though this allows me time to blog.

Sadly my first post disappeared into thin air and I've now learnt to make a copy in my notes before attempting to post it!!!

Yesterday I started to feel that loneliness and culture shock that comes with solo travel, kind of like an 'all eyes on me' feeling.. the littlest Padgett is out of her comfort zone and I'm pretty happy to have gotten even this far without crying..

Already missing being able to contact friends and family already though, guess I just have myself to talk to for now...much like I feel like when I blog I am talking to myself...oh dear, though as many close to me would know that's not actually anything out of the ordinary.

Finally got to my gate to board for Phnom Penh ... all nervous excited and my first challenge when I arrive is not to get ripped off by a driver going from the airport to the guesthouse..

43 days to go!

Oh lordy here we go...

So still need to sort my VISA and still haven't started my rabies vaccine...
well done Jenny *clap, clap* ...

I finished my course and it's Christmas Eve fingers crossed for some US dollars ;) I am honestly really glad I made the decision to just go ahead and do this trip...I knew how depressed I would be when my course was all over and I wanted to make sure I gave myself something to look forward to instead of just jumping up and leaving my job or something.

Bring on the New Year!!!

Check out my latest travel video below!!!

https://www.youtube.com/user/MagicalMysteryJAB

Like a bolt of lightning...

And just like that the idea is born... When you have a passion for something it can open up a world of opportunity, my passion is animals, the animal world their conservation and to help educate people on the importance of their survival.

So I'm studying to be a zookeeper and I finish in Dec 2014.  I had heard about 'Free the Bears' years ago and I've always been a big fan of their work rescuing Moon Bears and Sun Bears from bile farms, street performing and from the fate of living in a tiny cage behind a restaurant waiting for a rich customer to order Bear Paw Soup.
In all honesty the timing was just too perfect!!! I jumped right on board to volunteer with them in Feb 2015, one problem though, I have to travel alone and this is the first time I'd be #flyingsolo overseas.

I have spent years imagining all the wonderful animal adventures I'd have overseas one day and this will be the very first.

I'm not your standard backpacker, I'm not one to  'go where the wind takes me' types by nature I am a planner and an over thinker and shamefully as we speak my pack is sitting on my bed in front of me 4 months ahead of time with things packed in it...I'm not a complete loony I promise!

Wherever I go I want to become immersed in the culture I visit, I have a great respect for the people of the country, their beliefs and most of their traditions (keeping aside a couple of those animal ones such as Bear paw soup). I keep an open mind to the world out there and let's be honest as a traveller you have to..

My previous experience isn't really a lot but in saying that I have travelled to Kazakhstan, Mongolia, China and Russia!!! Yeah...I was hooked after that and have been craving that same feeling of awe and wonder ever since. 

Those moments of contentment are what I CRAVE!!! 

Trip Goals;

These are even more important to me this time around, no more excuses!

I failed miserably last time at one of my more materialistic goals...pack less and don't buy more BUT my flight is booked and because I'm a broke student...no checked luggage for me, which means 1x 7kg backpack and 1x small day pack will be joining me on that flight. (Hence my half packed bag on my bed), let me say thank you to YouTube and all those wonderful channels with all the helpful advice and videos probably a fair few hours of travellers tips and packing advice watched. Special thanks to @HeyNadine www.youtube.com/user/nayders07 and @KristinSarah www.youtube.com/user/hopscotchtheglobe who's videos I watched and re-watched.

So much to do and 4 months to do it...I need to relax, I GET SO EXCITED ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! Phew.. Ok calm down...until next post!

This is going to be an incredible adventure...